Fairytales

I lived my life with half broken stories and I have told half hearted lies.

I’ve limped along on battered limbs too afraid to fall behind.

And my mind has kept itself lodged away held behind the bars rotted and decayed.

My heart is a prisoner in a mirrored room.

Its locked behind the glass in it’s beautiful tomb.

But maybe you my starry knight riding to me bathed in moonlight,

You whispered through the keyhole to unlock the doors and thaw my soul.

But then you stopped… right there in the entryway.

You’ve gone no further but havent turned away.

You battle dragons and demons to hold your space, but you’ll go no further inside this place.

The confidence you started with has turned to uncertainty.

My knight that rides in moonlight isnt sure if he still wants to save me.

Here.

There’s a story here, somewhere buried deep,

of a girl afraid of what she’s seen.

She didnt know how to live.

She didnt know how to think.

She didnt know how to be,

so please be kind when dealing with me.

Thoughts are second,

and words come first.

Emotions are hidden,

and shes been lost

too many times and too many ways.

She will always come back at her own pace,

and she does it a lot more often these days.

So she’ll be back.

She’ll be here.

And she will be there for you always dear.

Creating habits

I’m standing on this road again.

I’ve been here before.

I’ve walked the pockmarked pavement.

I’ve crawled along the burning cement.

The scars all remain of the past attempts down the lonely road.

No one walks with me here.

Alone again with no turns.

Straight and

Narrow.

The gradual incline burns my lungs as

Step

by

Step

We struggle.

Along with all of the different versions of me.

We continue on again.

We start ahead this time.

We skipped a few miles already traversed.

We begin again on the road

Towards something.

Something we’ve wanted.

Something we’ve needed.

This is not the easy road.

You hate thank yous

This is not yours

This small victory is mine

But thank you to the universe

For sending you to my side

Inspiration comes in all different ways

You’ve been a refreshing wind each and every day

A guide with a calm touch

A reminder of a dream

An alarm I didnt set

This is not yours

Not this victory

But thank you for reminding me

Of me

Someone.

Someone told me I was broken.

I believed it to be true.

Someone told me I wasnt worthy.

I believed that too.

Someone stole my smiles.

I learned to hide them inside.

Someone told me I wasnt enough.

Someone lied.

My Stars

I could be anywhere, but I’m here.

With you all

told we weren’t worthy

This the Island of Misfit Souls!

All pushed away, and tried, and forgotten.

How dare we show our smiles so blatantly.

How dare we be happy when they said

we couldn’t deserve it,

when we didn’t earn it,

when we were born wrong.

How dare we dance with the faeries

in their circles of light.

How dare we dance alongside our demons tonight.

How dare we to exist at all.

In this our island of salvation,

we found each other,

us fractured souls.

And slowly we mend,

and slowly we glow,

and slowly we fight the harsh words.

The cruelty

the hatred we lived through so long ago.

We were born perfect

created in magic.

Not to be what they wanted

but to be wanted for what we are.

And that is far more than enough

and as worthy as any star

to shine

and glow

and to be flawless in its splendor

only us other souls can know.

Memory

Going down

landing

in the waste land

of what was beautiful.

A magic land

where dreams enter reality.

A destruction zone

of lingering hopes

and broken promises.

Landing in the

remains of us.

We were magic,

now just darkness

and memories.

Unlived plans

turned into possible regrets.

This is my home,

where I stay.

My eternal labyrinth

of us.

Trickster – Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Come out Come out wherever you are,” I whisper. I watch my feet making sure to miss all of the broken pieces of glass on the ground.

They all fell when the sprite jumped through the window. Stupid sprite. He thinks he can run from me.

My new boots that are already more duct tape than boot move silently through the pieces.

“You stay right there, Selene!” A voice comes from around the corner of a dumpster making me smile. So he was smart enough to stop running.

“Or what?” I ask attempting not to laugh. “You’ll kill me?” I keep moving through the wreckage of the dark alley that is filled with garbage bags and empty bottles. Stuck in between two buildings the only light here comes from a bare light bulb hanging over a basement door that looks rusted shut. Next to one pile of black garbage bags that is almost as tall as me is an old man who practically blends in with the waste around him. “How about you just tell me where I can find the knife and I’ll be on my way?” I ask, even though there is no way the old sprite is leaving here alive.

“Why would I tell you that? You will just kill me anyway!” he yells as if I’m half deaf.

“I have other ways of getting information out of you, and you know it. So save yourself the pain and tell me where it is.” I finish stepping around the dumpster where he is hiding. I thought he would be cowering in the corner half broken from his fall, but he is crouched ready to pounce. He is fast for a simple sprite and in a flash he stabs me with the knife right in between my ribs.

I feel as my skin breaks and allows the sharp metal to sink through me almost breaking out through my back. A second after the knife is in the pain hits me. It feels like a deep, dark, and low pitched pain. Some pains are high pitched like a pinch or a prick. This isn’t a high pitched pain. It is low and feels like it is going to drag me down with it.

The sprite steps back in between the dumpsters standing tall as if he is proud of himself for catching the trickster off guard.

Well, at least I found the knife.

The handle which is the only part I can currently see, is golden with markings that look just like the ones on my skin. They are spells. The knife was made to kill fire beings like me. The sprite’s thin face turns up into a smile while he stares at the golden hilt sticking out from in between my ribs.  He thinks that he won.

My body quickly goes up in flames, and the knife that was stuck in my ribs falls to the ground with a loud clang making the homeless man shift from his hiding place in his garbage castle trying to see if anyone has invaded his alley.

The look on the sprite’s face is priceless.

I push myself off of the wall I’ve been leaning against the entire time. Clapping my hands at the little show he turns around, his eyes wide.

“How?” he gets out before I stick my own knife into his heart, making him burst into a pile of leaves.

“I’m the trickster,” I say as I pick up the gold handled knife. “It’s my job. . . How all of you keep thinking that you can kill me goes beyond even my reasoning.” I finish wrapping the knife and stick it into my boot.

To most, it would look like any other knife, but those few symbols on the hilt make it one of the only things that can hurt me. It can’t kill me though. There would need to be a much more intricate spell for that knife.

I walk over the pile of leaves that is now blowing around the alley. I don’t take the time to go around the glass on the ground, and I hear the old man ask if anyone is there . . . if he only knew. When I round the corner, the street is dark and quiet. The air is humid and warm. I prefer dry and warm, but anything is better than the cold of winter.

A plastic bag is rolling across the street, like a man made version of tumble weed. A crowd of men are sitting on a staircase of one of the buildings that are built so close together I would barely be able to squeeze through. I walk past them seeing if any look up. None of them do. They can’t see me. It’s rare to find someone that has the sight, and those who do are usually too afraid of my kind to do anything about it.

Either that or they think they are crazy. Those ones are fun to play with.

Around another corner, I cross the street and enjoy the warm air on my skin. I walk a few streets before I find what I’m looking for, a fire. Standing under a highway section a few men are standing around a garbage can. What started the fire I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I take a few steps around the men as they stumble about, and dive headfirst into the fire.

I feel the heat on my skin as I go through. It feels like rain on a human’s skin or at least what I think rain would feel like. Refreshing and cleansing. Once the heat passes I land on my feet on the solid black marble floor.

A familiar scent of burning pine needles is in the air.

“That was quick.” I hear his voice behind me.

“What can I say. I’m good at my job.” I turn to see Kennan leaning against the palace wall. As always he is wearing all black other than the golden chain he wears around his neck. He doesn’t answer only looks me up and down with his golden eyes. “My mother would like to see you.” I nod, and he turns expecting me to follow him, which I do.

I learned a long time ago not to keep the Fire Queen waiting.

 

 

 

The Space Between

You were always the ocean. Strong and sure. Consistent as the tides. And in the dark depths of you there were wonders to be discovered, but there were horrors as well.  There were vast empty spaces of nothing. No light, no life, just space. Over the years others had ruined some of you. They left their garbage to kill off your dreams and your hopes. But still even then you were magnificent.

Then there is me. I’m the forest where the birds sing in the trees. I’m filled with life and constantly moving,  growing, and changing. I give to the world over and over again. Walk my paths and feel the ancient peace within me. See my mountains, my history, and my scars. See the places people have taken from me. Places never allowed to regrow.

And where we met was the thing of magic. The sand of my shores cooled to your touch, and there we were a thing of fairy tales. In the space between us, where we were one, was romanticized perfection. We were immaculate as the sun shone bright above and the moon played its glorious show over your waters.

Eventually though I realized you were taking from me. Little by little and wave by wave you would take a piece of me and bring it out into the depths of you. Little by little you eroded me away. You stole my being, my life, and my time.

So slowly was the realization that we were never an us. There was always you and then there was me, and even the beautiful memories we shared on the beaches between us could never mask that you wanted me to fill your empty spaces. You wanted me to make you whole. You wanted me, my beauty, my wisdom, and my strength to soothe your fears. Until you didn’t want me anymore, and you never really did. The excitement wore off. The joy of finding a being as immaculate as yourself, as powerful as yourself, and as wise wasn’t enough anymore.

Your waves receded. My trees grew tall. And the space between grows wider.